The One

I was thinking that it would not be fair ending this year without talking more about the best time of 2014.. I mentioned in the previous post that I got engaged and how it is an important event. However, I did not say why and it might sound as if it was a granted thing that might happen to any girl in my age and she would be happy for it. For me, it is not the case because my story is a little bit different. I knew my fiancé from the university level and we struggled a lot until we made this achievement. We waited until we finished our studies and then started working to save money with the intent of depending fully on ourselves. It might sound a normal love story, but in fact since the first day we were sure that we will be together no matter what happens. And the truth to be said, many things happened, but none of which have separated us or broke that bond. Abdallah, my fiancé, is always by my side he supports me and he is "the one." He knows the best how to make me smile and feel better even at the worst times. I am truly happy that we achieved our goal and that we will continue doing so after getting married next year inshallah. We have million plans for our future at the personal, professional, and spiritual levels.

Abdallah came for a more than one month holiday and until now I cannot believe that he came and returned back. It was the best time ever we spent all the time together and enjoyed every second- Alhamdullela. He used to drive me to and from work - even though I had a car, but I knew exactly how to exploit the situation  :D :D. We got the chance to spend a little time with his and my family, but we usually managed to escape and hang out by ourselves.

I am so excited that we will be planning for the wedding together. Abdallah is the perfect man to go shopping with, he dose not complain or say a word, instead he encourages you to look more till you find the thing you are looking for. I remember that we went to around 10 gold jewelry stores until I bought my engagement ring and he was more than happy.

Thanks for being who you are. Thanks for everything, everyday, every promise and plan you made true.  Indeed, Allah created men and women as company for one other; Alhamdullela.

"Grow old with me! The best is yet to be."

Robert Browning 

Overview of 2014

Today is the 10th Of December 2014. I have published only four entries since the beginning of the year. However, I've been writing many things, but did not know when and why shall I release them.


An overview of my life in 2014:
This year I worked very hard on myself in terms of my career. I continued working in the same place for the first five months of the years and then I quit! Yes, I did and this is the best thing that I have ever done in my profession. I worked for two years and five months in the same company - and I am not saying it is a bad thing staying for a while in the same place, but when you feel that this job won't improve you in any way, then you MUST know that "That's it." I quit the job in the right time and I do not regret it at all.

I started my next job immediately in an "humanitarian" agency as an interpreter. The nature of work is a little bit different since I am dealing with humans and not computers or papers. However, sometime I wish I have my own computer and sit there translating only documents that I enjoy and things that add something to me. This job is very exhausting - mentally, emotionally, and even physically, hearing people talking about bad things they have endured and interpreting them using first-person narrative leaves us destroyed from the inside... The feeling of guilt whenever you remember that other people having difficult time securing their basic needs, while you are having the privilege of many things that you do not even count as blessings. For the first three months or so, I dreamed about vague pieces of stories, dates, events, and faces, I felt very bad and lost the desire to enjoy life, but then I started to feel nothing as if I am numbed. I felt that my body is there and I am pronouncing the words, but I am detached, not connected to anything happening before my own eyes. For a while, I thought that this is the best thing that have had happened to me since I started this job and told myself I am being professional.. Until I met an old couple from Iraq, who were waiting long time ago to be resettled. They told us their story and how the war have separated them from their own children and how they lost family members.. I sympathized with them because the caseworker was really tough with them telling them that they cannot apply for family reunification and that they might end up in an elderly care center because there is no one who can take care of them and they are not able to work to provide for themselves. At that point they started crying very badly and that really saddened my heart. Can you imagine, god forbids, you parents sitting on those chairs being interviewed by someone who cannot even feel their pain, loss, and tragedy.

This work helped me contemplate about things that I have been always taking for granted. In fact, it changed me and awaken the human inside me. Despite the fact that this a tough a job, I am very thankful to Allah that I am here and I am being the voice of those vulnerable people. Last week they informed us that interpreters' contracts will be extended till mid-2015 and this is somehow good because I do not want to undergo the experience of looking for another job now.

Ok! Enough talking about work, which is an endless topic. Tell you what? I got engaged...
Yeah I know it is a big deal to talk about because it involves huge changes in my life, especially since I will be moving to another country. We have not fixed a date for the marriage ceremony yet, but most probably it would be in October or November 2015. So I still have time not to be worried about moving to SAUDI ARABIA :P   My fiance came for one month vacation and we had the best time ever, but it was sad seeing him leaving. Hopefully he would be able to come before the wedding, or otherwise I have to do all the planning and this would be crazy and exhausting because I would be also looking for the dress and other details... So hopefully everything will be easy and most importantly enjoyable - Ya RAB :) -

Do you really believe that 2014 is almost over :O        

Highlights

Hello...

I've been writing many posts and keeping them in the draft.. I do not feel like talking about things happening around.

This post is dedicated to the recent highlights of my life. I have graduated in 2011 and I feel like it has been ages since then. However, during the almost three years I learned many things and met scores of people. I can say that I only gained two "great" friends. Thanks God, I consider this a marvelous addition to my life because you know what Mark Twain said about true friendship: "Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

Talking about books, I decided this year to read more books and somehow I committed to the plan, despite the fact that I am one-book behind.. I have read: And the Mountains Echoed, سأخون وطني, and The Diary of A Young Girl.  The three books are amazing and different from many books that I have read in the past. I will write a review about the three books in separate posts [Inshallah], especially the Diary of A Young Girl. I cannot describe how much this book meant to me. I wish I can forget every letter, every paragraph I read in it, so that I can reread it again and sense that feeling again and again. It is an amazing book and it deeply affected me. For the next nine months, I have an interesting list and I am really enthusiastic about.. 

I had some plans that were not achieved this year, but this will not deter me from going on. This time I am determined and focused. I will overcome last year's "disappointments" and will do things differently. I have been seriously thinking about quitting my job, but I am reconsidering the decision because I cannot stay at home I love going outside. I am out of luck now; I had not find anything that fits my qualification and experience yet. Oh, I am also planning to sell my car and buy another one. Hope I will be doing this soon, but it is really hard because my brothers are not here and no one is helping me in this regard. I think, if I sell my car, I will go for Toyota Prius or Toyota Corolla. People are recommending Toyota Prius. We will see; wish me luck in this hard mission. 

My brother's wedding is planned, Inshallah, in October so we will start looking for a wedding halls because he is Jeddah. I have trillion of ideas for my dress and I started looking for a unique hairstyle. I am longing to a party for a close relative. Inshallah we will have a blast :)

Oh, I have to go now. But I still have tonnes of ideas and things to talk about.  

There is no 'Palestinian-Israeli Conflict'

Interesting read, especially since it is from a foreigner's point of view. Though it's quite long, it's worth the read.

"In order for colonialism and occupation to be successful, previous inhabitants of a region must be dehumanized, labeled savages, and finally, their very existence denied. Once this paradigm has been established, any and all acts of horror can be inflicted upon them without recourse. Thus, the stories of the oppressed become irrelevant. There is no Palestinian-Israeli conflict; there is only oppression."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ferrari-sheppard/i-traveled-to-palestine_b_4761896.html?utm_hp_ref=fb%2F

نشرة الأخبار

ذات نهار كنت مع قلبي وحدنا في الدار وعلى غير عادتي جلست أشاهد الأخبار!! ما كان معي أحد ليردعني عن تناول سمها !!وهذا الانتحار

..هاقد جاءت نشرة الأخبار خذوا مقاعدكم أيها الأخيار أمسكوا قلوبكم جيدا واربطوا حزام عقولكم ..فالآتي مليء بالظلم والعار

حان الآن وقت عذابكم ..عبر الشاشات والأقمار أيها المشاهدون ..تنفسوا بعمق !!!وركزوا الأنظار

!!دقائق لم أحتمل سوى دقائق !!ثم أصابني الدوار

بدأت النشرة بانفجار ..في مسجد يحتمي به الأحرار ..ثم ههنا بلدة تحت الحصار يموت أهلها ..تحت السمع والأبصار يا لهول قلبي !!قد أسأت الاختيار

..أقلب لمحطة اخرى ألف فرعون يطل منها ..وأنياب كبار واختلاسات ومؤامرات !! تدور في استتار

!!أقلب

وباء في انتشار ومجاعة وفقر وافتقار ..وههنا شجار ..وهناك قمع بالحديد والنار..

!!أقلب ما هذا الذي تحت الركام؟ ..رضيع؟ يارب يا ستار

..أقلب !!يأتيكم اليوم إعصار ..ووغد يقول أين أسلحة الدمار وقصف بالطائرات وأموات وضياع وضجيج وسعار ما هذا الذي أرى هل جنت الأقمار؟؟؟؟

هاقد أطلت مذيعة الأخبار رغم الموات والاحتضار تأنقت..وتزينت ..ونسقت الأظفار ثم قالت في حياد قاتل ..أتقنته باقتدار أيها المشاهدون وقعت اليوم مذبحة ..لأطفال صغار وعلمنا أنها تقطعت لحومهم ..وتطايرت على بعد أمتار والعدسات ترافق صوتها !! لتؤكد الأخبار صاح قلبي والدمع في انهمار !!يا ويلهم من نقمة الجبار

كفاني مارأيت تعبت من نشرة الأخبار كيف ترون مثل هذا بالليل والنهار ولا تطيش عقولكم ولا يصيبكم انهيار؟؟ أما تتعبون من هذي البشاعة تدك رؤوسكم في كل ساعة تغتال الصبر والاصطبار..؟

..ما أبشع الأخبار أخفوا عن عيوني كل الجرائد والجرائم وأشلاء الضحايا ..ودموع الصغار أغلقوا المذياع أيضا ما هي بنشرة ..بل إنها منشار يمشي فوق عظامنا بالليل والنهار يمزقنا لا يبقي لنا إلا القهر !!والدمع وذل الانكسار

..أعزائي الصغار يا أصغر الشهداء عمرا ويا من تشرد في القفار يا من قضى جوعا وبردا ونحن (المشاهدون) تحت دفء الدثار هل تعذرونا إذ نقول عذرا أم أن اعتذارنا يحتاج لاعتذار؟؟؟

يافقهاء عصرنا هل من فتوى لديكم تحرم علينا نشرة الأخبار..؟ أما لنا منها مفر في عصر الدمار..؟ أم أنها شر لا بد أن نراه ..حجة علينا أمام الواحد القهار؟؟

أغيثونا بفتوى فما عدنا نحتمل !!نشرة الأخبار

The New Year

This is exactly how I feel about the new year :P I am not pinning any hope on 2014, I will do my best and won't wait for anything in return..

5rabeesh

When we get old, I want to have you around. I want to take one of these eternal pictures.   

"Love is cure, Love is power, Love is the magic of changes. Love is the mirror of divine beauty." ~ Rumi

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches, we found that we were one tree and not two.”  - Corelli's Mandolin

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche