Inner
peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of
being mentally and spiritually at peace, with
enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong
in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered
by many to be healthy and the opposite of being stressed or anxious.
Today
I read this outstanding article by Marilyn Briant and I loved to share it here:
Creating an
Inner Peace That Endures
Like many
people, I lived my life for a lot of years failing to understand inner peace is
a choice. I am not sure what I thought. Perhaps
I didn't believe anyone could feel a lasting peace inside.
I did know that my own feelings of peace were always transitory.
There were many
ups and downs in my life, too many claims on my time and too many difficult
situations to be dealt with. I think I actually believed inner peace could only
be achieved by monks and saints, or anyone living a reclusive life who didn't have
to deal with everyday struggles.
I was stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how
peace could be mine when there was always something, some drama going on in my
own life or the lives of those I loved.
In fact, it
seemed to me that the whole world was filled with stuff, negative stuff mostly,
which I read about in the newspaper, saw on the television, or heard from
someone I knew.
It was the kind
of stuff that pulls at your emotions—the breaking news story of a missing woman
being found murdered, the tragedy of a child being killed by a hit and run
driver, the numbers of homeless people tripling, and a devastating Tsunami
killing thousands and paralyzing a country.
Then there were
the stories closer to home—my friend’s husband being diagnosed with cancer and
dying three months later, my father suffering from dementia, my best friend’s
marriage falling apart—all tearing at my heart and leaving me hurt and
grieving.
In my own
personal life too, my emotions dipped and peaked along with how much
control I felt I had over my own happiness. I literally felt like a puppet
on a string, and asked myself over and over again, “How can I feel a constant
inner peace in my heart and life, when my emotions see-saw up and down
according to what is happening in and around me?”
Looking back I
know I believed that my emotions were important. After all wasn’t being
emotional an essential part of being alive? Emotions made me feel real and
allowed me to extend empathy to everyone else.
But in the
deepest part of myself, I did not feel good most of the time. I longed to not be
so emotional. I wanted to be released from all the conflict in my life—to not react
to other people’s words and anger—to feel serenity in my heart.
It was an
almost desperate need to alter or to stop the negative cycle of events which
seemed to dominate my relationships and my life.
I believe it
was that intention which kept on surfacing in my mind and in my heart that
fueled my spiritual search and led me to discover a more peaceful way to live,
despite the conflict in my life.
I know that as
the months and years went on I became more determined to change the way I was
living.
It was a few
years ago now—I cannot pinpoint exactly when it happened—when I finally felt a
peace inside that did not come and go along with my emotions or the drama in my
life. I know it was the culmination of making a lot of changes, including:
Believing I am
loved
Understanding
that negative childhood imprinting leads to feeling unloved and having low
self-esteem, I looked for and found the truth about myself. It was not what I
had been led to believe was true!
Believing we
are loved comes with knowing who we are, not judging ourselves or others for
mistakes we make, and from daily meditation in which we feel the unconditional
love of something greater than ourselves.
Monitoring and changing
my thoughts
I once believed
I had no control over what I was thinking, because I never considered the idea
that thoughts can be changed! Then I started focusing on my thoughts and
realized much of what I was thinking did not reflect the way I truly felt.
Just paying by
attention to them, we see that many thoughts are primarily fear-based and
judgmental.
And, because
they come and go unchallenged, most of us struggle through life unconsciously
accepting that we are our thoughts. We simply do not look at or
challenge them as they appear and disappear. By accepting them we give them
permission to shape our beliefs about ourselves and our lives.
Once you start
recognizing them, you can go about changing your thoughts. Through observing
how your thoughts differ from the way you really feel, you can choose to place
a different thought in your mind, which more accurately reflects the way you
feel.
Coming from
loving kindness and living from my higher self
By noticing and appreciating
other people’s kindness, we become aware how much it really matters in daily
living. In dealing with difficult telephone calls, perhaps an angry person on
the other end of the line, we can choose to be kind.
When a friend
asks us to help with something, we can decide on the kindest thing to say or
do.
If someone asks
for a donation for the umpteenth time, we can deal with the request kindly.
Obviously, there are times we cannot give whatever is being asked of us; when
we do not have the means or desire to agree to a certain request. In these
circumstances, saying no with kindness is the best choice.
Sometimes
kindly refusing to provide assistance is important in helping promote personal
growth in others and allows them to learn some important life lessons.
If someone is
gossiping about someone we know, we can be silently kind, refusing to be drawn
into the conversation. By choosing kindness, we allow positive energy to flow
from us to others and prevent negative energy from reaching us or infusing
situations. In this way we create and maintain a connection to our higher
selves. And, realize just how good it feels to be kind.
Bringing the
practice of acceptance into my daily life
Perhaps the key
to feeling real peace is being able to accept what is. Acceptance simply means
recognizing your ego’s voice and rejecting it. Knowing that the only person we
can change is ourselves enables us to do this.
As soon as we
start to think there is something not right, not the way it should be, or we
become judgmental about a situation or a person—their words or behavior—we know
we have moved away from accepting what is, by wanting to control what is
outside of us.
There is a lot
of negative energy and craziness in this world, but we can all learn to live
with inner peace.
If your
intention is strong and comes from the deepest part of you, it will happen.
Outwardly nothing changes; peace comes from making changes inside you.
It begins and
continues through becoming more aware of you really are, knowing you are loved,
making changes in the way you think, practicing loving kindness, and accepting
what is.
As serenity and
unconditional love fill your heart, you will accept that you cannot go back,
and will not relinquish what you have now found—that peace that you seem to
have been searching for your whole life.
Finally, you
will come to this—deep inner peace inside you that endures, regardless of what
challenges life brings.
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